What You Think This Is, A Game? This Ain't No Game! (Part 2)

Oftentimes, research sucks. Or for me it has way too many highs and lows. I've found only a handful of interviewees who open up, and I still don't know if I have enough material to write a thesis. It's hard tracking people down, explaining the point of the study, following up with them, and communicating in the mixed form of Hindi/English/Punjabi that I speak here. I mean I've met a lot of really nice people who have welcomed me into their lives and their homes, and their families are usually really happy to meet me and know that their daughters have someone to talk to and share their stories with. But while being an outlet is a great skill and also a great gift, I think, it is also challenging because it gets personal for both people. Immediately after interviews I find myself satisfied that I have had the opportunity to connect with another human being in such an intimate and rare manner, happy that we have both perhaps undergone some healing, and that I may be a living example of rising above a lot of issues that may worry them. But given a few moments to reflect upon the interviews, I find that I am often upset, overwhelmed by people's need to pray for me, recommend treatments, ask about how it is in the U.S., show types of curiosity and concern that I just find bothersome most of the time. Maybe it is my privilege that allows me to brush certain social issues aside more easily, that fuels the anger and annoyance that I feel so strongly but others don't dare to feel. I think it would be condescending and judgmental to classify the difference as enlightenment. But the fact of the matter is that the difference exists, it's a tough pill to swallow, and I find myself choking.